davedolan.com

IMAGINARY, NY — Associate Pressed

Three adolescent members of the Imaginary Neighborhood Watch were slapped with a court injunction today barring them from presenting their findings about the locked status of the Mrs. Fanny Frankenwilder’s back door. The three had planned to present a litany of possible exploits for such a door lock state at the next INW meeting. The three state they were just trying to let her know, and that she should indeed lock it, but the judge ordered their illustrative PowerPaint presentation to be confiscated.

“I just thought that it was a good idea for us to let her know it’s something she should consider taking care of,” said Herb Smith, of Nonsense Ave.

“Honestly, I think they’re only inviting people to walk in. It’s better for everyone not to KNOW that I leave my door unlocked in the first place. After all, who has time to go around locking doors these days? What with my bridge club and the Red Hat meeting, I don’t have time to even consider, let alone implement their proposed solutions. They need to stop this malicious prattle before someone just up and walks in using one of their contrived exploits of my door state’s vulnerabilities, ” Frankenwilder comments.

The Frankenwilder case is not the only such incident where dissident teenagers reportedly spilled the beans on possibly glaring security holes in the neighborhood. It is, however, probably among the most interesting and daring exposures of commonplace security laxity to come to light in recent years.